Ten things I learned during a fortnight in the maternity unit

Hi everybody! I apologise for taking almost a week to get onto updating the blog. It’s kinda redundant to say this, since half of you will know exactly what I mean, and the other half of you will have no concept at all of what I mean (yet!), but it’s exhausting work looking after a new baby. Especially when you get yourself sorted into a nice little four hour cycle and then the new baby gets a cold (I left Waitakere Hospital with it) which totally screws up that nice routine. (When you’re a baby with a blocked nose, breast feeding takes longer and is exhausting, so you fall asleep half way through a feed, but then you only sleep for a short while before you’re hungry again. Not fun for the feeding machine aka Mum.)

Anyway, it’s been wonderful to be home – I was well and truly ready to leave hospital by the time they gave me my discharge papers. Up until getting the cold, Jeremy has been a very easy baby to look after (as far as newborns go – and I had the privilege of seeing lots of newborns to compare him to in my stint at the maternity unit). He isn’t fussy, only cries when he has a reason to, doesn’t spew up on everybody, and feeds and sleeps well. My compensation for such a difficult start otherwise methinks. That’s not to say I’m not looking forward to the day he sleeps through the night, as far as I’m concerned that can’t come quickly enough. One thing about having a new baby around is, time flies in general, but every night drags!

The wound infection still isn’t completely gone, I’m still on antibiotics, but if it hasn’t significantly improved in a couple of days I will have to go back and be seen by an obstetrician again.

So, the update over with, here are some things I learned in my almost-fortnight in the maternity unit.

1. EVERY new mother has one absolutely horrible night in the first week of having the baby. Exactly which night it is depends on when the mother’s milk comes in, but there WILL be one night where baby hardly sleeps at all and seems to constantly need to feed and by the small hours of the morning the mother will be completely exhausted and both mother and baby will be completely frustrated. The midwives on the ward know this: I only noticed this after the night in question happened to me, but on any one night there will be three or four babies being gently rocked to sleep by midwives as each new mother reaches breaking point. (It’s unfortunate that the horrible night often comes at the same time as the ‘baby blues’ when Mum’s hormones are crashing down around her ears.) I don’t know how women cope when they go home from hospital in only a day or two and that horrible night is their first night at home – they must wonder what on earth they’ve let themselves in for.

2. Poo is easier to clean off a baby’s bottom when it’s fresh.

3. There is very little in the way of continuity of care from shift to shift in the maternity ward as a different midwife is assigned to a number of mothers each shift. So it pays to remember your own drug regime (especially when you’re on a cocktail of multiple antibiotics, painkillers, etc) and be proactive about asking for what you want. Also, they’re busy with other mothers, so if you don’t press your call button to ask for something, they will assume you’re fine, and won’t be popping in to check everything’s ok (except maybe at the start of their shift). Especially when you’ve been there so long you’re practically part of the furniture.

4. New babies and new mothers both come in all shapes and sizes. It is amazing the challenges some women (or girls, really) set themselves up for by not making sure they know what to expect. Perhaps I’m an information junkie but I can’t imagine not having set out to know as much as I could about the whole pregnancy-birth-baby thing. My comparison here is the 17 year old I shared a room with for a night or two who literally had a panic attack the morning after giving birth because she was still bleeding (the midwives and nurses who had come running did their best not to smirk as they said “honey, you’re going to bleed for six weeks!”). I think they put her in with me deliberately so there was someone friendly there to help answer all the random questions it was only just occurring to her to ask. (“How does an epidural work?” “Is he supposed to sleep for that long?” “What do I do when he stops sucking?”) She was a lovely girl but boy does she have a steep learning curve ahead of her. In hindsight, perhaps someone upstairs put her there to help me recognise all the advantages I have that I might have otherwise taken for granted, like a husband and an education!

5. Your generally close to inedible meal will be delivered to your room at the exact moment that your new baby wakes up demanding HIS meal, meaning you won’t get to eat your meal until it’s only lukewarm, rendering it even closer to inedible.

6. Everybody loves new babies. This means you get lots of visitors and lots of lovely presents. Thank you, everybody, I am in the process of writing the notes recognising your generosity!

7. You hear people say it all the time, but I never really took it in: it is SO important to sleep when baby sleeps. That means sometimes you have to say no to the aforementioned visitors, lest you get overtired (which in turn makes baby unsettled, which makes you more tired…).

8. Everybody will have a different opinion as to who your new baby looks like. One midwife will see your husband leaving, and tell you how much the baby looks like him, and then the midwife on the next shift will tell you how much the baby looks like you. All your visitors will have their own opinions. For the record, I’m reserving judgement for a few months at least – right now he just looks like a baby!

9. If you had any dignity in the first place, the childbirth process – in a hospital anyway – tends to strip it from you, via a succession of various people sticking their hands in various places. This is so, later on, you don’t mind whipping your feeding apparatus aka boobs out in front of a roomful of visitors.

10. There is nothing more satisfying than watching your newborn drift peacefully off to sleep after a stubborn few hours of awake time. Except, just maybe – with apologies to the squeamish amongst you – the feeling you get immediately after moving your bowels for the first time in a week!